A Newsletter from Brandi Solanki Holistic Neurocounseling
Hi, I’m Brandi - a counselor who shares brain-body healing insights, neuro tips, and ways to connect—locally in Waco or virtually. Sign up to also get resources for nervous system care, plus blog and service updates. Let’s heal together!
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Mental Health Awareness Month (May) was a busy one for me! I wrote 3 blogs, taught 3 trainings, was on the news, and made 2 new handouts - all while doing my normal client schedule. It was a bit much for my sensitive body but I am learning I love creating content and being involved in community - something I missed doing 1:1 therapy. I'm very proud of myself but also plan to do less next year!
Now onto June: Pride Month! I came into my identity as asexual in 2022 and last year felt disconnected from Pride Month - that I am not Queer enough and this is not made for me. My partner even got me some kind gifts and I found myself feeling uneasy.
I don't think I am alone in asking "Am I Queer Enough?" - but I also don't want to just say "OF COURSE I AM!" I can recognize that the Ace community is part of the queer community and also hold that trans women of color experience a level of oppression that I never will never experience. Acknowledging the privilege we hold leaves space in the room for the people most harmed by the systems of oppression and violence we live in.
My hope for this pride month is that I can get more connected in Waco's queer community so I can be a part of it and also advocate for those who are experiencing more harm than I am. Hopefully I can give you some good updates next month!
MAY UPDATE
I had a very busy month professionally but did not take a lot of photos - I'll share what I have! Unfortunately, this month, one of our adopted kitties got very sick and that took up a lot of emotional energy. She is doing much better now and I hope she continues to heal. We also were able to adopt out the last 2 kittens we were fostering and I was VERY SAD but also happy they graduated. Take a peak at some of my highlights.
I was on the news for MH Awareness Month!
Snapped a quick pic from my first training of the month
I spent a lot of time at Cha Community & Norma's Floral's new location this month!
My momma kitty I adopted - "Billee" - who was sick
Ladoo - one of the babies I had to say goodbye to this month
Chole - My other foster kitty who went to her furever home with her brother Ladoo!
JUNE NEUROTIP: CO-REGULATION
Your brain and body have two main biological drives: safety & connection. We hear about safety all the time - knowing that if our brain and body detects danger we go into fight, flight, or freeze. But what about connection? As mammals, connection with other humans is something our nervous system is always on the lookout for. The drive for safety and connection are equally important to our nervous system. When safety is compromised, we cannot connect with others. And when we don't have connection or belonging, we cannot feel safe. Co-regulation is a term from Polyvagal Theory that is based on our biological need for connection with other humans.
CO-REGULATION
Our nervous systems are always on the lookout for safe connections. We unconsciously and naturally do this by sending cues of safety or danger to other people - encouraging or discouraging others to connect with us. Think of how you might talk to a baby or a pet - usually we are trying to send cues of safety.
Examples of Safety Cues
Calm, Slow Movement
Eye "crinkles"
Gentle eye contact
open body language
smiling
vocal "prosody"
warm tone of voice
head tilt
Examples of Cues
Quick, chaotic movement
wide eyes
staring hard
avoiding eye contact
closed body language
flat face
flat tone of voice
Co-regulation is the process of one person helping another regulate by sending cues of safety. This allows us to build safe and trusting relationships with others. Our nervous systems do not have the ability to self-regulate when we are children and we learn to do this through a good "co-regulator." As we grow older we develop the skill to self-regulate but we never lose the need for co-regulation.
USING CO-REGULATION IN COUNSELING
This is the most important thing a counselor can offer a client - a safe, regulated nervous system. Especially if a client did not have a good co-regulator when they were growing up, we are taking on that job of helping their nervous system build the pathways of self-regulation. YOU CAN ONLY DO THIS IF YOU ARE REGULATED YOURSELF! Not burned out - so take good care of yourself and learn how to send those biological cues of safety to your clients.
USING CO-REGULATION IN LIFE
Most of us live in a culture that celebrates individuality and autonomy. But our brains and bodies are wired to NEED community. Community and Co-regulation aren't just perks - they are necessary for emotional and physical well-being. My challenge for you is to practice building community and sending cues of safety this month.
Ideas
Ask for Help with a Project
Find one event to go to
Have friends over for dinner
Help someone else (volunteer or donate)
Smile at someone who seems upset
Observe a group of people and see who is sending cues of safety
What I'm Going to Do: I already mentioned - but I am going to focus on building connections in Waco's queer community this month. I am volunteering for some of these events below and I'll be attending some as well! I also am asking for more help from my friends and family with my business. I'll let you know how it goes in my next newsletter!
ALL MY BLOGS FROM MH AWARENESS MONTH!
I wrote 3 blogs for MH Awareness month - all with the goal of providing you with free resources! Click the images below to get some emergency/crisis resources, safety planning direction, and some suggestions for caring for your brain & body outside of therapy!
CELEBRATE PRIDE IN JUNE!
I've gathered information on events for Pride month and other resources for the LGBTQIA+ community in Waco! There are a lot of ways you can celebrate pride and make sure you are informed on resources for the community.
The WPN offers events, community, and resources for LGBTQIA+ families and individuals in the Waco area. Check out their schedule for Pride Month and choose an event to stop by! You can find more info on their website & instagram.
LGBTQIA+ THERAPISTS IN WACO Each of the therapists here is a part of the LBGTQIA+ community. Check them out to see if one may be a good fit for your or someone you know!
Even though the Emancipation Proclamation went into effect on January 1, 1863, after the confederacy surrendered, military intervention was required in the southern most states for enslaved people to learn of their freedom. On June 19, 1865 the military reached Galveston, Texas and the enslaved people learned of their freedom. Since then the black community has celebrated this day of freedom! Check out what Waco has going on this year.
The Central Texas African American Chamber of Commerce puts on this parade every year that starts in Heritage Square and travels down Elm Avenue. This year the parade goes right by the Waco Downtown Farmers Market - so stop by there as well for a special event! This is a must attend in Waco!
New Growth Art Exhibit May 22nd - June 26th Art Center of Waco
I read this investigative research/history book in May! Madness looks at the history of Crownsville Hospital - one of the last segregated "insane asylums." You'll learn stories of the patients and employees and learn about the violent history of psychology in the black community. A great read!
Connect with Me!
Thanks for supporting me during MH Awareness Month. Make sure to find a way to support you local LGBTQIA+ community and celebrate Juneteenth! As always, if you find some cool resources you'd like me to share - send them on over!
If you're new to The Neuroconnection you can find all my previous newsletters HERE so you don't miss out on the neurotips and resources I provided in those.
I do have current openings for my services! If you'd like to connect with me you can reply to this email or find me at one of these other spaces:
A Newsletter from Brandi Solanki Holistic Neurocounseling
Hi, I’m Brandi - a counselor who shares brain-body healing insights, neuro tips, and ways to connect—locally in Waco or virtually. Sign up to also get resources for nervous system care, plus blog and service updates. Let’s heal together!
